So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
