I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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