I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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