I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
