nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
