'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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