there's paper in my vomit.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
