Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
