can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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