Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
