I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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