someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize