I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
