after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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