I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize