I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.