He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...