Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together