What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize