Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize