Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
