We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
This is my gift to your gina
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
