I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just found puke in my bra..
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
