Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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