Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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