should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
