I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
