I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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