apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
