Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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