Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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