what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
