fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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