Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Randomize
