is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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