You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
