I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
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is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
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yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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