Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
