I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
