Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
