i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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