this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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