Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
