His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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