You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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