just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
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