Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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