okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
