My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
