You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
This is the high leading the old right now
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
