Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
