Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
