Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
