Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
is that a dick in a sweater?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
