Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
How does one acquire holy water?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
