He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
