it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
