You can't special order awesome
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
