I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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