Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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