How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
it's like heaven, but drunker
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
