You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
