Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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