Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I just got carded by a ten year old.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
