Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
