I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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