Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
