3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
My legs feel like baby dolphins
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
