lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
