This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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