nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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